I’ve recently become more familiar
with the textures of the sidewalk
and the ceiling of my bedroom.
From a mental hammock
comprised of suspended webs tangled around
social puppets shoulders
and Pinocchio's noses,
sleeping on hold and
80's movie theme songs of happy and exciting romances
becoming the dry eyed call waiting dirges
distorted from a lack of sleep.
(I want you to want me)

With 3 walls failing and the forth one broken
You asked if I was a free man now.

I didn't realize I was free until I was captured.

A smile sharpened on a hard heart leaves a dull mind
you couldn't spread memories of butter with.
But its great for poking holes
in the emotional hedges you've trimmed all these years.
And I haven't seen it since they've passed,
But I remember your face with
P. Sherman, 42 wallaby way, Sydney as my Hail Mary.
Autumn leaves last not less than half as long,
but are just as pretty as
their more vigorous counterparts
when covering forgotten Bugattis.
Natures blood running thicker than oil.

My eyes turn to security cameras
noting brightly coloured hexagrams
running through the dark.
Myself as the passenger, Johnny 5 in the drivers.
Telling me about how Progressive runs the world digitally,
it's all about the Flobots.

She said I need space.
So I dropped the universe on her lap.
Then one hit platinum, the other one hit single
was left on the shelf mixed in with
daddies old Doobie brothers vinyls.
Telling myself ill buy a little more time, evil evil woman,
but water from an old tap is what keeps me warm on most nights.

I found my self lying, alone.
Not to strangers or my mother.
No,
That time has long past by six or seven sentences.
Lying about how everything will be alright,
or maybe it won't.
I don't know which is better.

So I think of something simple to realign my seizured sanity.
My breakfast,
bottle of cough medicine,
spoonful of Nutella,
and a line of orange juice powder
helps my eyelids remain alert and able
to make it all a part of a
healthy fast break to the car.

Outside the sky is clear and all I see is aeroplanes,
where did the stars go?
(Door opens)
My loose noose zip tie lies
On the passenger side where I used to ride
With Jonny 5
(Ignition.)
I invent a new word as the
rounds per minute of the idle engine
matches the beats of my not so idle hands
striking the disconnected horn.

Spazifist; Noun.

Someone with the lack of gumption
or heart to hurt to anyone, really,
but deep down wanting
to demolish everything in sight,
just to see what other things
look like when they're past their breaking point too..

Rooted in the young English
Spaz;
That kid on the playground no one likes
playing hopscotch with anymore.
And
Fist; The only swing that
hurts more getting on it than getting off.

See also, Masochism.
See also, Violence, like Kokanee (Domestic)
See also, Stockholm Syndrome.
See also, Mr. Incredible.
Heroes use their fists too.

All this, coming from a someteen boy in a city that's booming economically and not from terrorist attacks,
fields full of golden food and salt mines instead of land mines.

I don't even have to worry about
being raped or kidnapped walking down the street!

Why am I so panicked?