I know I am the kind who moves on easily
from minor personal tragedy.
Yet I tend to wallow in its wake anyways.
I find the feeling of it to imbue me with
a bitterness I can only find in baking chocolate.
It makes me feel powerful.
And I do enjoy my baking chocolate.

And while I know that mucking around
in my own self doubt weighs me down
like the tar the dinosaurs found so inescapable,
all I have to do is reach out and grab the edge.
I can do that whenever I want.
Opposable thumbs.
I'm better than a dinosaur.
And that feels great.

And though I know I'm the type to move on easily
from relationships gone dull.
I often seem to hold on to them just a bit longer than I'm supposed to.
Because even though I know that
squeezing a rose so tight
that its thorns invade my skin
will break the rose itself,
I know that I'm not ready to let that rose blow away into the wind.
Because I just got a hold of it.
It seemed so drawn to me a moment ago...

And I know the day is fast approaching,
my father's slowing steps show me every day,
but I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
So I'm eating more and more bowls of sugar coated hot air and
throwing out the contents of my stomach
more and more often to try and capture the
last minute feeling of being six years old for one or 12 more times.

Because i'm being preached to about the concept of my personal significance by the people who seem to know so little about their own.
As though going through university
without any idea is the best one to have.
And a $40,000 dollar idea is better than finding one across the alley,
or at the top of a hill at 3am.
But let me tell you somethin'
Mr and/or Mrs. Preacher.
I may not know a lot of things.
But I do know this.

The ant that sprints around the jungle of my lawn
is a pawn in the food chain of my back yard,
yet it is part of something bigger
It is not insignificant.

The teamwork we've formed through merely being neighbours
and enjoying the same brand of alt rock playlists
is astronomical.
And everyone who tells me that I'm a teenager and it'll pass,
has obviously felt the same way before.
And there's probably some wisdom in that.
But it's my turn to scribble a passage in
'The Book of What Can and Will Be',
Not, 'What Was and Should've Been'.
She is not insignificant.

And even though I say the opposite to myself everyday.
Through good times and better.
And even though I was told I was being unrealistic
when I finally believed in
my ability to go the distance for someone
I care about more than the skin on the bottom of my feet.
And even though in the grand scheme of all things,
or just hers,
I may not play the biggest role,
though damned if I don't try.
I am not insignificant.

Because pop music and Disney movies wouldn't lie to me.
A score of years listening to other people being told they're beautiful wouldn't deceive my ears on a minute by minute basis.
The building blocks of so many young minds couldn't be made out of papier-mâché and tissue boxes..
Could they?

40 g's is a lot!
100 more could buy a home.
5 could get me across the world and back.
And 1 could write an album and make himself a million.

But I don't want any of that.
I know all I need is a walk down the street to the swings.

And that smile.