My best friend has the coolest name.
You really ought to know.
In 19 years it hasn't changed,
Much.

Xavier, the leader of the X men,
always my elder.
He eleven,
myself the most imperfect little ten.
Back in the day's when a pinky swear
could seal a deal,
or unlock a heart.
We found ourselves the new kids
at a school claiming to house the advanced class.
But really only rooms that
held socially ridiculous 6th graders
who knew how to BS their way through problem solving.

We got along from the start,
because he had this bitterness like baking chocolate.
And I love baking chocolate.
He was such a smart ass,
and from my view it was hilarious.
With the load of lip we gave,
I thought for sure Mrs. Flaherty would bury us.

Surely sir we were the newest tiny titans
of the Hill, bringin' happiness and sass.
But then your wife got a job,
and now our fun just wouldn't last because
the job was in Prince Albert,
of all the god damn places.
And your son, my friend,
had to pick a bunch of fresh new faces.
As fresh as they can get in Prince Albert...

I knew he'd be just fine though.
He's got a genius little mind, though.
He's gotten a little bit behind, though.
His problems were all mine, then
lo and behold high school came.
Not the opening scene to an 80's classic about self discovery,
but a prison with a fancy name.

Never did he really feel challenged at that school.
It seemed like the thing to do was nothing.
Little did he know what could've stopped him from becoming
the thing you came to hate so much.
You coached his gymnastics, if I remember it correctly,
and his attitude was terrible.
And for you it was big blue house,
after a year it was unbearable.

Afterwards.
He and I walked and wandered with nigh a clue but where we were.
We talked and pondered about life and dodgeball,
but never her.
That girl that blasted his heart asunder
like her 'I'm leaving'.
Was the brunt of the death star beam and
He was in Alderaan places.

And even though you knew this,
over the last few years, you put my brother through a mental hell.
Never did I hear you offer to help him through it,
just caged his mind while he divided it amongst different cells.
Your mouth devout in doubt.
Full of put downs and get outs.
So he closed in and I reached out,
before his suicidal thoughts KO'd him
in a fixed bout.
With a troubled mind and too much booze,
a spare dime, and shit to do,
you'd think you'd find the time
To figure out what he was up to...

Now just yesterday,
or I guess just earlier this morning
Xavier sent me a facebook message.
And the words that were adorning it;

You cheated.

'I don't really know what that means man.
You're gonna have to be more detailed!'

You cheated?

This kind of thing happens to the pretty people in movies,
there's no way this could really be happening to Xavier.

You cheated.

Some roles were meant to be modelled.
But I cant see a scaled asshole gathering dust on my study desk.

You cheated?!

You're practically my second father you selfish prick!
We went fishing together for God's sake!
How could you do this to M....
Her.

My soul turned into a saxophone solo.
The one that plays in the background of the rejection scene
in that 90's sitcom.
I probably looked like the stupid kid from the show too.
A man,
acting like a boy,
trying to act like like a man,
wrapped in boys clothing.

My mind became a highlight reel of slow zoom out travel shots.
Dirt road roller coasters.
Clouds like continents.
Trains like loading screens.
Where the loud overdubbed pop music
keeps the brake squeal away.

My heart glimpsed medusa.
Then sank.
And I'm not a very accomplished swimmer,
so I let it sit at the bottom of my pool of boiling blood,
and thought about the statement
for the longest 20 seconds of my life.

You cheated.

The lump in my throat extended to my fingers.
I won a score of staring contests
against the little vertical line in the chat window.
Xavier could smile again.
I couldn't form a coherent sentence.
This was the news that lifted the weight off his mouth.
And onto mine, briefly.

Then another message appeared weeks later.
She's the one who cheated?

...

I'm sorry.

There's so much I still don't understand.

But I finally figured it out Xavier.
I remember where we were.
All those years ago after the laser beam breakup.
All those cold nights before yesterday.
All those thunderstorms we couldn't share
We were somewhere in each other's hearts.
But after that, the labyrinth was swept,
the maze was sealed, without a pulse
The dusty cellar doors were locked.
We'll have to open them up again.
Promise it won't happen again?

Pinky swear?